bad joke of the day

Happy 4th of July to all the American readers of this thread!  Hope everything worked out well for you today.  Lots of bbq's and fireworks.  I re-read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince today.  I'm gearing up for the movie although i already have reservations about it.  There has been so much that has been changed in the first 5 movies that plays a part in book 6 and 7 that i'm not really sure how it will end up.  I spent a lot of it laying in the hammock in the backyard.  It was sunny but not super hot, which is just the way that i like it.  Taz is curled up in my laundry again.  He's been super cuddly today. I think that he knows we are going away on vaction in 2 weeks.  I opend my olive oil from Greece today.  Soooooo yummy!  I think that i could it just by dipping french bread in it.  Today is July 4 and here is today's joke: (in honour of the Calgary Stampede starting yesterday! I love cowboys *drools*):

A Cowboy's Guide to Life

Never squat with yer spurs on.
There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.